Settling…Ease?

Posted on September 24, 2009

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ALL GOOD, WHATEVER, NONSENSE MOMENT

I’m putting my attention a bit more on how I’m feeling with my day to day moments.  I made a little intention to myself to watch how “teaching as work” figures into my life and my energy and overall, to how I experience each moment during the intense school year.

Today, I had dinner with a friend and somehow, the thought and feeling arose that “I’m old…”  Well, not exactly, I don’t feel old, old, but the lifestyle rhythm I flow with seems like what an “old/er” person would be doing.  No offense “OLD FOLKS”, though my own neuroses about this, or about feeling “settled” is perhaps what is arising.  Like I said, I’m not really sure what is happen, or even trusting myself at this point to “name it” as if that would make things right.  My attention to this though is meeting with something interesting, so here am I blabbin’ away aabout my significant nothingness.

I thought to myself afterwards though, “May be it isn’t the settling that is happening…maybe you are simply feeling the ease of things having fallen into place.”  What’s wrong with that, huh?  The ease of things having fallen into place?!  Really though!  Can I receive the ease of this moment, its openness, its lightness and spaciousness?  Am I alright to allow for all this to exist around me, moment to moment and to not grasp at some “stress” that allows me to feel “alive?”  Neuroses, I confess!  I confess!
Of course, I am not calling into being more stress — ooOooh, no.  Let me shift the thought pattern here then and say, if this is Ease, dear Universe, let the communication inside of me receive it clearly and confidently!  Let me release into the ease of the moment, and allow that to be my way of “getting older” and more settled into Being with this precious Life.

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